Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
