you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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