Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
