I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
