Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
