I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
