Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
