I'm going to jail i love you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
