Where did you get a picture of my penis
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize