he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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