I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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