unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
