Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize