actually, I'm a sock model
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
