i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
