Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Randomize
