Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize