Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
