Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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