I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
