At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
