There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
