There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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