That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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