Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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