He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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