Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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