She's JV to your varsity
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
