would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
