sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
How external is "for external use only"?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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