I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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