There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
