Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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