I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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