So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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