I need help removing her.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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