forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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