You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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