I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
