Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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