Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
