I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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