i can't believe i had my finger in that
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
