Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
