you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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