If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
