hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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