The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
