This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
