Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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