Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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