Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
