and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's just like the Real World with babies
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize