so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
