i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
