they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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