does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
