it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
