i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
