It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
