There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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