Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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